Times when you don't know what to feel

There are tight situations in life, when my mind can no longer absorb and comprehend everything. Today, It feels so annoying, I try to do the best that I can, do the same old routine every single day but it seems not enough. I just realized that being a mother is a no easy job. Its not. I am dashing but sluggish at times particularly when I 'm confused. See? How sometimes I can be too fast and too slow? There are these moment I literally breakdown. I have tasks that does not even required me to do everything on my own. For others, these tasks are just the normal ones. Do the dishes, clean up the mess, laundry clothes, sometimes cook our food. However, multi-tasking these things all at the same time while also taking care of your child is truly difficult.


Some days, I wish to go back but its not the solution to the problem. In life, there are things that once done, cannot be undone. One thing  I also understand is you can't always jump when you are in dire straits. Going back to my Momma scenario, I was really cramming, I have to finish cooking rice, some eggs and sausages for our lunch. Its easy frying these stuff but my kid is having his meltdown. Its an everyday struggle because while I have to do my chores, this little one has also a tantrums. When he wants something he wants to get it asap. Like with a snap of his finger. No kidding, when its not done the way he wanted it he'll go doing the tantrums, stomping feet, shouts, loud noises, crying. Imagine how chaotic our everyday episode, it even seems that I'm going gaga over these issues. 

Those instances, when all I wanted is to nagged, to have tantrums too and cry and that's what I did, It feels I am losing control in everything. Though I cry just like a kid too, I know that this won't get me answers- I guess that the best thing to do is just pause for a while. Keep things in silence. Learn to pray. It works best.


Sometimes its okay not to be okay. Its okay when it feels like you don't even know what to feel anymore. Being a mother is a challenging one, it takes courage, patience- tons of it. Still I know there are times I am having my own meltdown, I will be a hugger-mugger, I am still coping with these changes in my life. I hope to never lose hope. I am also trying to surround myself with people who will let me see positive things and make me forget those stress. So if any mom, parent will read this, I wish you happiness and strength... Pray always and have faith. Also, try to watch a movie and listen to good music, eat something sweet and smile!